Adoption costs can range from nearly free (when adopting from the state foster care system) to upwards of $40,000 (with private and international adoption), and everything in between. You should consider the cost as you decide what type of adoption is best for your family. Some families host adoption fundraisers such as silent auctions or garage sales. There are also a variety of interest free loans available, and in some rare cases, adoption grants. The adoption tax credit can also help relieve the cost of adoption.

When faced with a list of agencies, choosing one can seem like a daunting task. Get involved with adoption groups and talk to AS MANY people who have adopted as you can. Most are happy to share their experiences with their agency with you. Click the link below for a printable checklist with many items to help you narrow your search.

Only you know what type of adoption, and ultimately what type of child would best fit into your family. While it is not healthy or productive to dream of the perfect child bounding into your arms the first time your eyes meet, you should carefully consider who you are best equipped to parent. Children of all ethnic backgrounds need loving homes, and your agency should be supportive of your choice when it comes to your child. Talk to parents in multicultural families. Remember, they may not have your eyes, but they can have your heart!

When faced with infertility, friends and family may be quick to reassure the couple that adoption can provide them with the children they are longing for. The truth is, adopted children are not replacements for biological children. We would be short-changing the value of these children to assume they are “stand ins” for biological children that never came, and discounting the loss the couple is facing in infertility. In many cases families that would not have considered adoption before finding their infertility, end up adopting. Adoption should be an independent choice, made because a family has love to give a child that is not their flesh and blood.

Before an adoption is finalized, both parties come to an agreement about the degree of “openess” of the adoption. This term describes the amount of contact a child will have with their birth family. Some families agree to send a yearly update with pictures to birthparents, or even allow visits. Some families have regular contact with birthparents, biological siblings or grandparents.