Currently there are over 16,000 children in the care of Child Protective Services in the State of Texas and nearly 420,000 children in the United States. CPS is the government agency which investigates allegations of abuse, neglect and abandonment of children, and if necessary, removes children from their homes. These children are placed in temporary care in emergency shelters, group homes, foster homes, and kinship placements. Children may be in care for as little as a week before returning to their parents, or as long as several years in the event that no adoptive family steps forward. The length of stay varies greatly and is dependent on a multitude of factors.

Upon removal, a temporary caseworker is assigned to a child or group of siblings. CPS begins making calls to licensed foster homes, and private Child Placing Agencies (who, in turn, begin to call their foster homes) to find a foster home for the children. In an effort to keep children from spending the night in emergency shelters or CPS offices, sibling groups may be separated, and children may be placed in a foster home several hours from their point of origin. A court hearing is generally held in the first 14 days to create a service plan for the children. This plan may address such details as reunification with parents, placement of siblings in a common foster homes, etc.

Steps to Foster Parenting

To begin foster parenting, you must first attend an informational meeting hosted by CPS or private agency. After this, an agency must be selected and application submitted. Agencies generally invite prospective foster parents in for an interview and to answer any questions they may have. A background check will be completed, and training scheduled if you are accepted into the foster parent program.

Training varies from agency to agency, although it is generally provided at no cost to the foster parents and at least 30 hours long over the course of 4-5 weeks. After or during training, a home study must be written for each family. This is a detailed document about your background, childhood, current lifestyle, education, parenting, children, extended family, beliefs and almost any other personal aspect of your life. This document gives the agency the information they need to decide if your home would be appropriate for foster children, and may be used if you later decide to adopt.

Homes can become licensed to foster only or foster-to-adopt. The licensing process is generally the same and lasts 2-4 months depending on the expediency of paperwork. Agencies may consider a parent’s desire to adopt when placing children. For instance; if two homes are available to accept a child (and this child will most likely be available for adoption), the home wishing to adopt will be given preference over the other foster home. Foster parents can choose the age range they wish to foster parent and may be as specific as “girls ages 2-5 and boys under 3, only hispanic children, etc”. Families hoping to adopt through the foster care system may wish to foster only children who meet their personal desires for adoption, such as those having the same ethnicity or only a certain gender.

Homes may be licensed for basic or therapeutic level children. Basic care children may have ADHD, asthma, hearing loss, developmental delays, and other special needs that would be described as “mild to moderate”. Children with more acute health issues, anger management issues, or those unable to function in a home with other children may require the specialized homes provided by therapeutic foster parents, and in some cases group homes.

Getting Placement

When a foster home is “open” it means they are licensed and have space available for children described in the profile they provided to their child placing agency stating what age range, gender, race/ethnicity and special needs they feel equipped to parent. The agency should only contact a foster home about children meeting these specifications.

As a child is removed from their home following an investigation, CPS broadcasts a search with the agencies they have contracted with to find a home as close to the point of origin of that child as possible. A phone call may come at any hour to ask if the foster parent can accpet the placement. Here is an example of a call to foster parents for an emergency placement.

“Hi this is Bob from CPS. Is this Susan? We have a possible placement in Tarrant County for your home. Two boys, brothers, the only children in the home. They are 5 and 6. They are being removed from their mom due to neglect. She is being taken to jail. They are hispanic. Can you take them tonight?”

The decision to accept an emergency placement needs to be made quickly with a predetermined understanding between the adults in the home. Children being placed will be brought to the foster home by a caseworker along with the necessary paperwork to be signed. From the time you confirm until the child is in your home usually takes a few hours, but once the paperwork is signed, the foster parents assume responsibility.

The responsibilities of foster parents mirror those of any parent. However, there are some limitations you need to be aware of. Children cannot have elective medical surgery such as circumcision, be baptized into a faith, have their ears pierced or hair cut without parental and caseworker approval. These limitations have rare exceptions and are consistent statewide. It is important for foster parents to maintain the minimum standards for being a foster home.

Once the child is in your home, this is a time to show them around, discuss the house rules, ask what their normal routines are and help them settle in. If a placement arrives late at night, that is probably a conversation to have in the morning. If they are school aged, you need to enroll them within 48 hours. In general, you will need to prepare before hand arrangements with your school administration or any daycare providers and plan to take off at least two days to help the foster child transition.

Embrace is not a foster care or adoption agency. We seek to inform and support families throughout the process even after a child is reunified or an adoption is finalized.

How will I let them go?

Remember that these children have been placed in your home temporarily for protection, care and nurturing. While some children may become adoptable, family reunification is always the primary goal of the courts. It can be very painful to send a child into a situation you know little about, especially after they have been a part of your family for some time. You have seen this child through their darkest hours, and made a lasting impression on their lives. It is also not uncommon to breathe a sigh of relief when some children leave. It can be a bittersweet situation for any parent.

What will they call me?

“Mom” “Miss” “Sir” “Hey You”. Depending on the age of the children, you should introduce yourself with what you want them to call you. Miss (first name) and Mr. (first name), are a common and respectful option. If you have children in the home calling you Mom and Dad, your foster children may quickly begin to call you this as well. This is not an issue, as long as you are always clear about who their biological parents are. Children may also begin to refer to their birthparents as “my old mom” or “my other dad”, and in these situations it is best to take a moment to clear things up.

Will I meet birthparents?

In some cases you may see birthparents on a regular basis when dropping a child off for their court allowed parental visits. Some children do not have visits, and some parents cannot be visited (if incarcerated, for example). Meeting a child’s biological parents for the first time can be nerve racking. Stick to the basics. Greet them and introduce yourself as the child’s foster parent. If they have questions about the child, or the care you are giving them, answer any you feel comfortable with, or ask them to write them down, and you will send update through the caseworker. While the choices of the birthparents are the most likely reason a child is in foster care, they are not the enemy, and your attempts to encourage them or find out what their child likes or dislikes while in your care can only improve the long-term success of a child’s healing and growth.

What about medical insurance or therapy?

Every child in the care of CPS receives some form of Medicaid (medical insurance) at no cost to foster parents. This covers all medical, dental, and vision costs with approved providers. There are no co-pays, and almost all hospitals and emergency rooms accept Medicaid. If your foster child is under 3 years old, Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) will assess their developmental needs and provide speech or occupational therapy if appropriate, otherwise, your school district will assess any special services your child will need. Foster parents can contact their child placing agency for references regarding counselors to help children work through neglect, abuse and loss. These counselors are covered by Medicaid as well.

What about my biological kids?

Many families who foster and adopt already have other children in the home, and it is necessary to think about the impact foster care and adoption will have on them. While you have expectations of what a new child will be like in your home, your children have expectations too. Will they like me? Will I get to show them new things? Will they share? Where will they sleep? What will it be like if/when they leave? What if they aren’t nice? Parents must give their kids voice into this decision and throughout the process. Many biological children come to mature and develop a greater compassion for other people because their parents chose to foster. So keep the conversation open and ongoing about how they are feeling and prepare them for the journey your whole family is going on.

Do we consider birth order?

Yes, but it is not the final factor in who you can or cannot foster parent. There will be times when foster and biological children of the same age will blend well together in a home, and there will be times when caring for an infant or child younger than your biological children will go smoothly. Be perceptive about the emotional health and maturity of your children. If you have a difficult time caring for a child that is roughly the same age as a biological child, adjust your age range for the next foster placement that comes to your home or take a break for a while after that child is reunified with their family.

How will they get to school?

A foster child will go to the school in your school district and can ride the bus like any other child. If your school district offers Head Start, a pre-school program for at-risk children ages 4 or 5, your foster child should be enrolled there. Foster children qualify for free breakfast and lunch as well. The state does not permit foster children to be homeschooled, and due to the neglect and inconsistency of the parenting many foster children received early in life, a child may require extra help in developing the skills they need to succeed. However, the priority foster parents should seek to work towards is the feeling of security in a child’s heart.

Can we adopt?

A group consisting of the child’s CPS caseworker, a CPS supervisor, a court appointed special advocate (CASA), the district attorney, and the child’s attorney ad lidem determine the child’s permanency plan with a judge’s ongoing approval. Birthparents traditionally have one year to complete a service plan and be reunified with their children. If this group diligently pursues reunification and reunification is no longer appropriate, the court will change the goal to adoption (usually no earlier than 9 months into a foster care placement). At that time, other family members have 90 days to be considered, and if no appropriate family steps forward, the foster family can adopt. The adoption process is usually finalized after a few more months and depending on circumstances can cost anywhere from $0 to $1,500.

How do I choose an agency?

When faced with a list of agencies, choosing one can seem like a daunting task. Get involved with support groups and talk to AS MANY people who have adopted as you can. Most are happy to share their experiences with their agency with you. Start a running list of recommendations from people you talk to, and then give the agencies a call. Good questions to ask an agency directly are:

• How long has the agency been in business?
• How many cases do each of your caseworkers oversee at any given time?
• What is the turnover rate of your casework staff?
• Do you have post-placement therapeutic services and resources available? If so, what are they?
• Does your licensing training for foster care and/or adoption include trauma-informed care?

How can I afford to adopt?

Adoption costs can range from nearly free (when adopting from the state foster care system) to upwards of $40,000 (with private and international adoption), and everything in between. You should consider the cost as you decide what type of adoption is best for your family. Some families host adoption fundraisers such as silent auctions or garage sales. There are also a variety of interest free loans available, and in some rare cases, adoption grants. The adoption tax credit can also help relieve the cost of adoption and was made permanent for adoption of any kind (except for stepchildren) in January 2013. So currently, if you have tax liability you can receive a credit for qualified adoption expenses (travel, legal fees, etc.) up to $10,000 (often increased for inflation) and carry the credit until it is fully used over a 5 year period. For more information on the credit visit adoptiontaxcredit.org.

How do I choose an agency?

When faced with a list of agencies, choosing one can seem like a daunting task. Get involved with support groups and talk to AS MANY people who have adopted as you can. Most are happy to share their experiences with their agency with you. Start a running list of recommendations from people you talk to, and then give the agencies a call. Good questions to ask an agency directly are:

• How long has the agency been in business?
• How many cases do each of your caseworkers oversee at any given time?
• What is the turnover rate of your casework staff?
• Do you have post-placement therapeutic services and resources available? If so, what are they?
• Does your training for adoption include trauma-informed care?
• Can I choose to only adopt a child of a certain race?

Only you know what type of adoption, and ultimately what type of child would best fit into your family. While it is not healthy or productive to dream of the perfect child bounding into your arms the first time your eyes meet, you should carefully consider who you are best equipped to parent. Children of all ethnic backgrounds need loving homes, and your agency should be supportive of your choice when it comes to your child. Talk to parents in multicultural families. Remember, they may not have your eyes, but they can have your heart!

Is infertility a reason to adopt?

When faced with infertility, friends and family may be quick to reassure the couple that adoption can provide them with the children they are longing for. The truth is, adopted children are not replacements for biological children. We would be short-changing the value of these children to assume they are “stand ins” for biological children that never came, and discounting the loss the couple is facing in infertility. In many cases families that would not have considered adoption before finding they’re infertile, end up adopting. Adoption should be an independent choice, made because a family has love to give a child that is not their flesh and blood.

Will my child have any contact with their birthfamily?

Before an adoption is finalized, both parties come to an agreement about the degree of “openess” of the adoption. This term describes the amount of contact a child will have with their birth family. Some families agree to send a yearly update with pictures to birthparents, or even allow visits. Some families have regular contact with birthparents, biological siblings or grandparents. Developing a level of appropriate openness is beneficial for adopted children as they will feel a sense of abandonment and responsibility for that abandonment. Openness can also help adoptees understand their identity as they mature into independence encouraging them to embrace their adoption. We never want to hide a child’s past although our conversations should remain age appropriate.

Prior to finalizing an adoption, many resources are available to families and paid for through the State, however after an adoption is consummated by a judge, a family’s primary point of contact for services is often the agency contracted with the State for Post-Adoption Services. States are required to provide these services in order to draw federal funding for foster care programs. Click HERE to get all of the information and qualifications for post-adoption service providers and liaisons in the Dallas/Ft. Worth region.  For other parts of Texas visit the Post-Adoption page of the DFPS site to find your provider HERE.

The Loop is a simple platform to connect the tangible needs of the children you care for and your family with the generous people in communities across Collin County!  Needs from childcare to beds to diapers to meals and more can be posted.  So if you need some help, The Loop is a great place to find it… and it’s FREE!

CLICK HERE to join The Loop on Facebook.

Be sure to read through the guidelines for how needs are posted and met attached to the group page.